Saturday, July 21, 2007

Ogden City Primary Election 2007 Voting Guide

Prominent local visionary removes the guesswork from the candidate selection process (Parody)


First of all, how do you folks like my new photo? Gadi Leshem and Curt Geiger had a professional photographer take some shots of me for the campaign, and I like this one the best. Gadi said it would look good being blown up and hung behind the city council, and then he laughed and lit a cigar with one of the subpoenas he keeps getting.

Anyway, speaking of the city council, here are my recommendations on those races since you’ll need to know who to vote for. Print this voter guide and take it with you to the polls on September 11, 2007.

THE GOOD

Kent Petersen – Kent made most of his money by being smart enough to be born to a guy with a new car franchise – nice move, Kent. And all that scuttlebutt about him losing $1 million of his inherited cash to a Ponzi scheme with Wayne Ogden has nothing to do with his qualifications for office. After all, I lost $5 million of taxpayer money when he bulldozed Woodbury’s building on the old mall site without asking them for permission. What’s the big deal?

Royal Eccles – For years people have been complaining that there isn’t enough inherited-wealth elitism on the city council, so here it is. The name says it all. Remember, vote for the guy with the diamond pinky ring, and you can’t go wrong.

Kevin Irons, Dennis Howland and Blain Johnson – A bunch of nobodies I have in the race to Hoover up votes from all the people who can’t stomach voting for the likes of Royal and Kent. Kevin, Dennis, and Blain are three guys I know who the mayor can rely on, if by some snowball’s chance they win.

Brandon Stephenson – He’s unopposed, so bite me.

THE BAD

Amy Wicks – This chick investigated how much money I spent on the gondola, and came up with about six grand, when I have actually spent several hundred thousand. How incompetent is that?

Caitlin K. Gochnour – An outdoor nut who will likely vote in favor of squirrels and pine trees instead of the asphalt spreaders and gravel pits that are the foundation of our economy. She’s also a marathon runner – and she’ll need to be one, to beat my man Kent. Hey Cat, better get your sweat on, sweetheart!

Sheila P. Aardema – You’ve heard of “space freaks?” Well, this woman is an “open space” freak, so if you like the good, prosperous sound of dump trucks rolling past your house all day, you can forget about it with this pine nut. Plus, for you “small government” types, she’s the wife of a former Ben Lomond High School principal – in other words she’s married to a retired educrat. Sounds great, doesn’t she?

Dirk Youngberg – this guy is a city employee. Hey Dirk, if you don’t win, and I do, you’d better start looking for another job, if you get my drift.

Jim Freed – A gadfly from Smart Growth Ogden, and a general pain in the butt. He’s retired from Hill AFB so he’s basically another retired bureaucrat. Sounds real exciting, doesn’t he?

THE UGLY

Hey, no wise cracks about my photo . . . Why aren’t I commenting on my mayoral challengers, you ask? Well, maybe you should just start thinking about the damage the mayor will do if he loses – between the time of the election and when he has to leave office in January – now that’s ugly.

So don’t let your wandering eyes stray to Hansen or Van Hooser. Remember whose prison dame you are.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Mayor! You can't Fire the Fire Fighter, unless you convince the City Council to abolish the Civil Service Commission. You wated a lot of tax payers money on the leg. session, didnt you?

Besides that, Dirk retired a month ago. You dont have any clues as to what is happening in this city, unless it's a pipe dream about a ride in the sky to know where.

Anonymous said...

Ahem.

With all due respect to the composer of the mini-bios above: inherited wealth is no more a disqualification for public office than being born in poverty is a qualification for it.

What matters is what someone has done in his or her adult life, what he or she has done and accomplished... in business, in public service, in other areas, that suggest they would be effective and trustworthy public servants. The Born Wealthy are as capable of achievement in any of those areas as are the Born Poor. The simple fact of inherited wealth is, from my POV, irrelevant as an election qualification.

Anonymous said...

City Employee:

I don't think a city employee has to quit his job to run for public office, provided he does the running on his own time, and not while he's on the clock.

Anonymous said...

Nice mug shot pinnoccio, you've told so many lies that your ever elongating nasal truth indicator no longer fits the picture frame.

Anonymous said...

Curm,

It's not so much whether the Born Wealthy are capable of accomplishment, The problem is with their associations and contacts. Many of them owe a great deal to the other big wheels who unquestionably prop them up because of familial affiliations. Few of these children and grandchildren of great entrepreneurs and leaders exercise the restraint or risk that goes with building fortunes and reputations. Most are obsessed with perpetuating their standing at any cost and willing to kiss the ass that feeds.

Anonymous said...

Well,well,well. Name recognition is the only thing lying little matty can pin hi hopes on. Take note of his attempt to run three idiot lackies,gondola worshipping scumbags, against the WONDERFUL AMY WICKS. One can only assume that his hopes are to water down the votes enough that she will not get thru the primary.
As far as name recognition, a very pertinent question for royal eccles would be, just what Foundation or extention of the vast Eccles family fortune are yo in charge of? Do you even sit on any of their boards? Do you have one incling of say in any of their affairs? The answer is a deafening no.
This guy is so anal that he won't attend his neighborhoods annual street party.(much to the pleasure of his neighbors) In fact most of his old high school buddies can no longer tolerate his company.
If he truely was a decent electable candidate why has lying little matty(and cabal) placed two others in that race? I wonder.

Anonymous said...

Curm,

It seems the concern is inherited wealth elitism, not inherited wealth, and certainly not wealth, per se. Note which are the adjective and which is the noun. Ahem.

We've all seen people who, because they came out of the right birth canal, figure they're smarter than the rest of us.

And we've seen the types who go the city council meetings and complain that a room full of people is not representative, but they, individually, are representative.

It's the elitism that is disquieting, not the money.

It doesn't surprise me they have Peterson and Eccles running. They seem like the elitist, know-it-all types to me.

Anonymous said...

Danny:

OK. I take your point. You're probably right and I read the postings too narrowly.

Who was it that quipped that some candidate was "born on third base and thinks he hit a triple"? Sounds like the kind of thing Ann Richards would have said of G. Bush. And if she didn't, she should have.

Anonymous said...

Curm,

"Born on third base and thinks he hit a triple" - I gotta remember that one.

Sometimes I'm tempted to feel that way, then I remember what I have is mostly due to be being born an American and a few other things.

I seem to recall some good accounts of city council meetings from you. I do hope you will report on some of the candidate forums for us.

Anonymous said...

Looks like someones bought of Lee Carter and the editotioral board of the Standard Examiner. They announced this morning the will make candidate reccommendations after the primary,WHAT?
Will the public have complete access to the interviews or will it all be filtered through the editorial boards collective bias?
This could be a very slippery slope. Sadly with the publics current appathetic civic lack of awareness an endorsement headline could be the determining factor in an election.(the SE called this a Reccommendation, saying it was different than an endorsement, I beg to differ) Look at the make-up of their editorial board? The Idiot Rush Limbaugh worshipping Doug Gibson, lying little matty appologist and front man Don Porter and the flaming transplant gondola worshipping new boss Lee Carter himself. Some how I just don't like this idea.

Anonymous said...

Bill:

Most newspapers make endorsements. Nothing wrong with it at all. The editorial stance of every paper in the country reflects the views of its publisher. Nothing wrong with that either so long as it does not slip over into the news columns. Your take on Mr. Porter is, on the evidence of the pages he edits [letters and op eds] flat wrong. As for Mr. Gibson's right wing rants... well, the SE is entitled to publish two humor columnists if it wants to.

Anonymous said...

The recent issue of Northern Utah mag published by Larry Hansen has on it's back cover an ad for the city.

The headline emblazoned across a photo of the Salomon Center reads...

"Not Your Ordinary Everyday Lifestyle"

Yeah, because it's closed on Sundays. Everyday would be nice...and ordinary.

Get with it Nielsen, you are an embarrassment to Ogden with your misplaced religious fervor attempting to send a strong message to the rest of us that we should find healthier things to do on Sundays than flowriding and recreating with the family. You do what you want with your family...I'll choose what I want. My Sunday recreational dollar goes out to Snowbasin for mountain biking or MOGC.
A friend was visiting last weekend and astonished that half the weekend was closed to flowriding. Major disappointment. Last night I met some folks from out of state at the flowrider. They would have loved to spend today enjoying the wave. No such luck in the OGD.

The Junction is succeeding at attracting tourists...It is also succeeding at turning them away from staying overnight downtown to play on Sunday.

I spoke with a investor that specializes in providing capital for waterpark attractions including flowriders. No business plan that included closing Sundays would get past his desk. He laughed at the prospect. He also laughed at the fact that Ogden City paid full cash for the flowrider and GAVE it free and clear to Nielsen to operate at his leisure and profit. ONE MILLION DOLLARS of capital equipment handed to this rotund friend of Matt.

Anonymous said...

Godfrey of in incapable of mending fences!

I am not sure if anyone knows this little tidbit or not, but Mr. Patterson invited the Firefighter Union Reps over to his office to "mend the fence". While discussing ways that the Firefighters could show a sign of good faith, and endorse the Gondola, the administration was in the process of having Senator Jenkins sponsor a bill to eliminate the Civil Service Commission, also having their paid lobbyist, which is (GOVERNMENT WASTE) push the bill through the legislature. (This was a knife in the backs of the Cops and Firefighter). Sadly the bill passed. Because of (Rep Neil Hansen) speaking out to the press went to bat for us Cops and Firefighters. The city council, thank God, refused to abolish the commission, which would have been a bad thing for Police and Firefighters in Ogden, placing them into an at-will employee’s status. I am pretty sure that if the Mayor gets re-elected he will push to abolish the commission again with the new council.

I am just saying people need to be very cognizant of the placement of the hands of the present administration when they are reaching out to mend fences. It's hard to trust someone when they have a track record of not so forthright maneuvering.


So if you support those of us, who risk our lives to serve and protect. Rep Neil Hansen, from what I’ve seen of him, has the vision, experience, dedication to revitalize Ogden in the most cost effective way! The true winners will be the people of Ogden.

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