First... here's one slab of lean meat I've had simmering "on the back burner" for a couple of days:
The Standard-Examiner breathlessly reported on Tuesday, that Ogden City's Finest, the Ogden Police Department, are the slimmest and most emaciated batch of law enforcement officers in the land.
The theory cited in the Std-Ex article is Chief Greiner's "physical fitness program" as being the cause of all this.
My theory is that the guys and gals in blue are all working on starvation diets, which goes along with the starvation wages. A "tip o' the hat" to Mayor Godfrey, for inadvertantly keeping Ogden's Finest physically fit. As always, Weber County Forum will alway "ingratiatingly spin" the news in Mayor Pee-Wee's favor. I always give credit where it's due.
Some would wonder about Chief Greiner's passing the test, just to look at him. Nobody with a brain thinks he's exactly starving-- especially with his wealthy (Lindquist) family connections. Maybe he just sucked in his gut before he got measured for his vest. Who knows?
Secondly, I'm going to post that "Holiday Light Display" again... the one that I posted and then deleted last week, after complaints that it had "locked up" the computers of some of our gentle readers who still don't have broadband connections. Here is is again... back by popular request. Remember... this link is NOT recommended for slow internet connections.
Last but not least, for the mainly-testosterone-propelled, there's the latest "Hooters" calendar.
I received this via email from my brother-in-law from Canada, who originally hails from the "Great White North," the land of the Ice and Snow, even in this era of global-warming. Print it out. It's the ultimate gift, I swear, for the macho outback camo-clad "woodsman" on your last-minute gift list:
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Comments, anyone? Consider this an Open Thread, if you'd like.
Update 12/24/05 9:27 a.m. MT: Apparently, the lightshow wasn't a big hit with the local Sheriff's Department.
And here's some more background info on the Christmas light display.
5 comments:
HO HO HO
Rudi:
I do hope that your running lights are in good order and that you signal properly before every turn.
After your astute observation about the mighty Chief's girth, and apparent physical prowess, I fear you just may be on his "naughty and must be punished" Christmas list.
Unfortunately I may be on that list myself so don't use your one call on me. Some one must stay free to spread the words and ask the questions that are so reviled in the Godfrey movement.
I am looking forward to the next great edition of the Utah State Legaslative follies held every January. They are always great fun for the watchers of Pride, Pomp and Foolishness. Plenty of great fun targets for those of us in the peanut gallery. This will be just in time as we hopefully will not have such plentiful and fun opportunities with the new intelligent city council. We of course will still have Lord Godfrey and his two remaining lackeys. They will surely continue to provide us with opportunities to observe the absurd.
With that last tweak toward the unfortunates, and In the spirit of Christmas, I hereby declare a unilateral (and temporary) cease fire in my calling to point out the hubris residing in those with power.
Here is wishing a warm and safe holiday season to all in Ogden, especially to the poor and disinfranchised.
I just greeted a checker at one of our local grocery stores with a hearty "Ho-ho-ho!"
She slapped my face, told me "I ain't no HO, and had me escorted outside by store security.
I suppose I do need to brush up on some the Ogden jargon.
Being a man of considerable "girth" myself, I figured it was okay to take that shot, Ozboy.
I'm sure Chief Greiner has an excellent sense of humor, and would take no offense at all, at what was clearly a playful "jab."
I already have Eddie and Cindy, of Eagle Bonding Company, on permanent retainer, however...
just in case I'm wrong about this.
Outspoken citizen activists learn to take such precautions in an atmosphere of oppressive government tyranny.
Power to the People; right on!
Deck the damn halls, people!
'Tis the season!
Wassail! wassail!
[a]Merry Christmas!
[b]Happy Holidays!
[c]Season's Greetings!
Please select whichever of the three above will, with the least risk of offence, convey my best wishes for you and yourn.
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