Open Thread & Too Weird for Words

I'll be out for most of this morning, so I probably won't be able to post anything topical until later on today. I haven't set up an open thread for a while, so I suppose now's time to do it once again.

WCF regulars already know the drill; but for newcomers: this is the place to bring up and discuss whatever you have on your mind.

Before I turn this place over to you folks for a while, however, here's an Associated Press article* that's simply too weird to be ignored.

*Via Standard-Examiner (Formerly OGDEN Standard-Examiner)