By Dan Schroeder
After eleven years of complaining that “we're not on the map,” Mayor Godfrey has finally found a way to attract national attention to Ogden. And it's not just the attention of niche publications for skiers and backpackers; Ogden is now on Yahoo News, CBS, Reuters, and dozens of blogs spanning the political spectrum from Talking Points Memo to Free Republic.
What brought our new-found fame? It wasn't an urban gondola; nor was it indoor surfing or skydiving; nor was it pyromaniac urban renewal schemes; nor even chasing police officers’ wives.
No, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the mayoral brainstorm that has finally put Ogden on the map is none other than... The Blimp!
Here’s what they said about it on today’s episode of the NPR news quiz Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me (segment Panel Round Two, starting at 3:10):
Host Peter Sagal: Tom, the mayor of Ogden, Utah has a plan to fight crime. He’s going to unleash the awesome power of what? (In the skies.)
Panelist Tom Bodett: Oh, um, seagulls.
Sagal: No.
Bodett: Oh, camera-toting seagulls.
Sagal: No.
Bodett: Uh, something more predatory—hawks, perhaps.
Sagal: No.
Bodett: Uh, can I have a hint?
Sagal: It’ll be a GOOD YEAR for law enforcement. Really he’s just FLOATING this idea.
Bodett: Oh (chuckles)... blimps!
Sagal: Yes! Crime-fighting blimps, high above Ogden. Mayor Matthew Godfrey of Ogden noticed high-crime cities had one thing in common: no blimps in the skies. There must be a connection. Ogden officials hope that flying an unmanned dirigible around town will aid in surveillance and crime prevention. Criminals will be like, “Hey, let’s steal a TV... Wait what’s that? It's a blimp! Oh, it must be the year 1917; TVs haven't been invented yet; let’s do something else.”... The high-speed chases though, with a blimp, would be very disappointing. Every time the local anchors get excited they’re like, “And the blimp is in pursuit! Oh, the humanity. Looks like the crime blimp has got them this time! Oh, the humanity.”
