Saturday, July 05, 2008

Why 'Atheists' are Praying

An important query for the gentle readers of Weber County Forum

From Thursaday's Washington Post: A new Pew Forum survey surprisingly found that 1 in 10 American atheists pray at least once a week. Here are 10 possible explanations. Are there others?
1. Notice that lately even Red Sox fans get their prayers answered.
2. Jamie Lynn Spears' immaculate conception.
3. 7+ years of the Bush Administration.
4. They are homeowners.
5. Notice that lately even Democrats get their prayers answered.
6. Flooding of biblical proportions in land-locked Iowa.
7. Worry about impact of global warming on the afterlife.
8. Putting in a good word for George Carlin.
9. At least 10% misread the survey and ID'd themselves as 'a theist'.
10. Better safe than sorry.


Jimmy the Geek said...

11. 8-1/2 years of Matthew Godfrey

12. Someday the Raptors might get their prayers answered

Jay Cavendish said...

11. Our Raptors didn't get publicly humiliated by those horrible homophobic brutes from Wyoming:

Chukars Corner

Bill C. said...

What a huge figure Rudi, 10%. To show how staggering this number is , that's 8000 times greater than the number of ice climbing enthusiasts living in Ogden, a whopping 0.00125%.
8000 is also an interesting number as well, thats the total number of ice climbing enthusiasts WORLD WIDE. I, like the City Council, was led to believe the number was significantly higher, untill I was informed that Hobits are not real and therefore don't count. This was very disappointing because their small stature combined with their oversized feet and spike-like toenails make them perfectly suited for the undertaking.
After this revelation that lying little matty and Lowe used Hobits to pump up the numbers I now have to question the magic dwarves that will guard the South Tyrolian Doll House replica soon to be constructed in Malan's Basin.

Bill C. said...

Isn't jay cavendish a world renowned homosexual pediphile? My understanding is that he lives a clandestine life right here in Ogden and is a huge supporter of lying little matty's high adventure agenda because of it's great ability to attract very young boys to the venues. He's been spotted at both the flow rider and the wind tunnel on numerous occasions. Authorities warn not to approach him because in being incognito he no longer sports his drool bucket, so his sticky slimey drool runs all down the front of what ever garment he's wearing that day. Word is, it won't wash off.

Curious 1 said...

A few years ago from across the street Cavendish was called out by his neighbors Father. I think he had made a proposition to his neighbors son that wasn't well recieved. I think there may be a police report somewhere since they were called. Cavvendish is well know for his youthful likes and tries to entice. Could that be why the light are always on bright at bthe Cavendish house.

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