Special Guest Commentary from a Boss Godfrey fanBy Donny DolittleYou’ve probably heard about how abusive the mayor is toward the women on the city council. Some people think he's gotten even more crabby than ever since all his
projects are going to pot. But in reality, his administration has always taken a consistent approach toward women. Take his Business Development manager, Scott Brown, who had to resign because of sexual harassment charges and
computer porn, or his current Chief Administrative Officer, John Patterson, who had to quit his last job because of
having an affair with one of his subordinates.
You see, when these city council women sometimes won’t meet with him when he commands them to, it reminds him of the way women have treated him all his life – they ignore him. Most women don’t know their place and how they should serve a man. When the members of his administration have affairs, abuse women or look at computer porn, they are just tying to help themselves to see women in their proper role.

Take the mayor's problem with council chairman Amy Wicks. She’s a woman, but she acts like a man, by having her own opinions on things. One day he started to give her a piece of my mind, and one of his people took this picture. You can see in his eyes that he doesn't like women to ignore him.
To drive home the point, he called his people at the newspaper and told them to hit the women on the council, which they did. The newspaper not only told the women to let him beat them up as much as he wanted, they even called on Amy Wicks to resign. Click here to read
their brilliant editorial. Who’s the boss now, Amy?
But I didn’t want to take all day talking about the proper role of women. I wanted to talk about who you should vote for in the upcoming election on November 3, to implement the mayor's vision.
At Large Seat AMark “Stinky” Haines
You probably remember the new committee that
I talked about in the primary: the
“Supreme Committee of Real Estate Workers – United.” Hains is in charge of this committee now since the mayor's other candidate lost out in the primary.
Now somebody told me if you take the capital letters of this committee, it spells out something not very nice. Well, the mayor is not changing the name because he's never admitted to making a mistake in his life, and he's not going to start now.
Haines is a real estate agent. He gets his nickname
“Stinky” from the expression that he gets on his face whenever he sees or smells open space. Stinky Haines is getting a little on in years and so he doesn’t like to walk too far when he’s selling homes – condos are much better for him. So he’s running for city council to help the mayor put
condos all over the East Bench.
Look, Haines is a real estate agent, with real estate money bankrolling him. Haines understands that the East Bench needs to be bulldozed. Why else would he be running and raking in all that real estate and contractor campaign cash? But he’s not going to come out and say it because the naysayers will complain. You can figure that out for yourself, can’t you, Sherlock?
Susan Van Hooser
This is the woman who ran against the mayor in his last election for mayor. His lawyers intimidated the county elections director (another woman) into throwing out enough ballots to barely make the mayor the winner. It’s seems easier for him nowadays to intimidate some women into doing what he wants. If only he could take that ability and go back in time to High School.
Anyway,
VanHooser has tons of useless public service, and she’s been on the city council. She listens to people, studies issues, and thinks before voting. And she is courageous. In other words, she’s another woman who has her own mind and is no good for anything. Do you really want the mayor to have to deal with another independent minded woman?
At Large Seat BDavid “Alfred E” Phipps

I still think the campaign portrait the mayor had done for Phipps is a near perfect likeness.
Phipps’ campaign got off to a slow start. First, he put the wrong seat he was running for on his signs. Then he sent out a flyer saying people were supporting him
who actually weren’t. Then he apologized. Then he
did it all over again.
Then to top it off, this screwball let everyone know that he just moved to Ogden from Sugarhouse during the last year, and doesn’t even own a home in Ogden – he rents. The dummy posted it on his blog! Then when people started noticing, he took it down. But the darned naysayers still have it
available to read here. And he tells people he has a business in
Ogden, but he’s really just
a real estate agent in Layton. And to add the frosting to the cake, he admitted in the
Standard-Examiner via this very morning's Scott Schwebke story that he committed voter fraud in
Salt Lake County on November 4, 2008! With this kind of sloppy work and calm, casual falsification, you can see why the mayor loves this guy!
On the bright side, when people ask why he knows nothing about
Ogden, he can claim it’s because he just moved here. That way, people may overlook the fact that he actually doesn’t have the lights on upstairs either.
But he doesn’t have to be the brightest bulb in the box to take the mayor's cronies’ campaign cash and buy a council seat for himself. Phipps just has to keep going around saying he’s independent while he keeps taking the money the mayor's cronies give him. In the end, the mayor's supporters know Phipps will do what he’s told. Enough said.
Bart Blair
Bart Blair’s family business has been in Ogden for over 50 years – Blair’s Service. Those who are familiar with it know it is a clean place that does an honest business in good times and bad. People trust him and come back again and again.
In other words, he’s a dinosaur who is out of touch with the mayor's approach to business. Blair refuses to get with the “Godfrey School Business Model,” which involves him selling off public land to his cronies on the cheap while they write him campaign checks.
In the 10 years the mayor has been in office, this guy has taken none of the mayor's graft and has not given him a single kickback. Do you really want him to apply his work ethic and real-world business sense to
Ogden City?
Municipal Ward 1Neil “Doughboy” Garner
Garner looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy. At least I guess he does. I’ve never met him.
The mayor said he needed somebody to get rid of Garcia, and they got this guy. His people have given him so much money he ought to be able to get elected to anything. With all that money that's been fronted to him, I guess he really is the “dough” boy. So the mayor is right as usual. He's a genius even when he's not even trying.
J
esse Garcia
Garcia gets in the mayor's way. The mayor has tried to kill Union Station and he stopped it. The mayor tried to close the Marshall White Center, and Garcia blocked it. He lives in a district full of lower and middle income people. So why do they need any public facilities – they’re poor, right? I thought those people were supposed to entertain themselves by dancing or something. The mayor needs money for his failing projects downtown and since people in Garcia’s district rarely vote, the mayor decided he can axe all the stuff in their neighborhoods and get the money he needs. But Garcia keeps getting in his way. He’s the mayor's #1 target in this election.
Municipal Ward 3Patrick “Invisible Man” Dean
I’ve never met this guy. I’ve never seen him, and I don’t know anybody who can describe anything about him. The people who finance the mayor apparently found him someplace, and got him to run by telling him the job pays several hundred dollars a month. They assure the mayor he’ll do what he tells him to do. This is exactly the kind of visionary, forward-looking candidate we need more of in
Ogden.
Doug Stephens
Stephens is the incumbent. He votes with the mayor sometimes, but the mayor still has to talk him into things. And for some reason, he seems to like to hear other opinions as well. The mayor is tired of this guy and needs somebody who is easier to work with.
In SummaryIt’s easy to tell which ones are the mayor's candidates, because they are the ones being funded by the same people who bankroll the mayor's campaigns. His candidates were dug up by, and funded by, the mayor's back scratching real estate people and crony contractors who make their money from big government projects, from carving up raw land into condos, and from fomenting a lot of house turnover so they can collect their commissions. In other words, the mayor's candidates are those who will do what his bankrollers tell them to do – just as the mayor does – for the good of Ogden.
So if you’re tired of council meetings, public hearings, public input, discussion, and a sense that there is more than one opinion in Ogden, this is your chance to do something about it. Vote for the mayor's candidates, and all discussion will end. If you’ve ever watched what happens when he gets one of his people on the city council, you know they always, always do what he tells them to do.
On a final note, I wanted to show you the new place in the mayor's office he has for uppity women and people who disagree with him. Yeah, it’s right here:

In fact, for anybody who doesn’t agree with the mayor, this is where they can go. Just put your hands together, and jump. So you see, he does have a place in his office for alternative opinions after all.